Note to Self:
You have had many nightmares over the years: being chased by a rabid cartoon hippo, flying through the air only to be shot down by unsuspecting rednecks, showing up to school-class-church naked, being covered with flesh-burrowing insects who infect that brain and cause you to communicate only through pantomime and musical numbers. If the Dodgers won the pennant it would be sad, but it would not be your worst nightmare. If you had to succumb to societal pressures and someday own a cell phone, it would make you . . . normal. And really, that's a far cry from your worst nightmares.